Sunday, November 19, 2006

Somehow I am surviving the weekend. Im still pretty down today and Im not sure why...Could it be the insanity of everything around me? I just don't know right now.

I was so excited forthis weekend to come so I could sit and watch the Superbowl but I dunno right now im really not interested but Im hoping that changes come game time!

Ok here's the craziness....2 weeks til court ugh, My sponsors daughter has run away for the second time in 2 weeks and shes active as hell :( My AA brother Brian went back out last week and Im so sad for him, my mother...well we wont go there, my kids are out of control the past couple days and Im feeling it deep in my soul, losing my patience, my self esteem, etc etc etc.

OK now I know with the bad I must present the good and I do have some of that as well.

My step brother chad came over Friday and he was still sober..thank you God. So here's the funny little story that goes alonog with it. Thursday night after we talked I had told him that when he got up friday morning (the morning he was supposed to get high) to get on his knees and ask God for help to keep him sober another day. I had planned to talk to my step mother aobut it Thurs night after he left but I decided to let go and let God. I had done my part. So Fri morning my step mother comes to pick me up and I say to her how was things at the house this morning. Guess what she said....She said Chad was running late for the bus and she decided to drive him to the stop and wait for the bus with him....LOL THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!

So later that afternoon I say to Chad when he gets home, did you ask God for help this morning? And he said yeah but I asked him in the and I laughed and he said what are you laughing at, and I said I heard you got a ride to school today...and he laughed...somehow I think he got it...He asked God for help and it worked.

These are the miracles I need to hang on to when Im having days like I have been. These are the things I need to remain grateful for that happen in my life daily.

The truth is, so many people I know have walked out the door lately and all I know is that by the grace of God I have not, and for that I know that whatever it is today that I am going through it will all be ok as long as I dont pick up.

On that note...GOOOOOOOOO PHILLY!!!! :)


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